Bye, Bye, Beto!

Before 2018, Beto O’Rourke was a Congressman from the uber-liberal border town of El Paso, Texas. He was a privileged white kid that, with the help of daddy’s money, got elected to Congress. Ah, but then Beto started doing something no aspiring politician should do…he started reading, and believing his press clippings.

Being tabbed as “the new JFK” (that’s John Fitzgerald Kennedy for you Millennials out there!), Beto felt he could take over Ted Cruz’ Senate seat in 2018. He failed miserably. So, since he didn’t also run for reelection to the House, he was unemployed. No problem. If you can’t win a Senate seat, why not try for the big enchilada? So, he announced his candidacy for president.

And immediately the left swooned. Oh, you would have thought JFK would have been reincarnated! Ah, but it wasn’t soon that we all learned the only thing made of silver that was in Beto’s mouth was his foot.

Gaffe upon gaffe began to pile up on the campaign trail, and though donors were slow to leave him, his popularity started to wane. Iowans weren’t impressed. New Hampshireites were even less so. In the end, Beto had enough support to get on the debate stage, but he had to share it with Tulsi Gabbard, who barely made the cut.

So, let’s see who all has dropped out of the small village that was the Democrat primary field, shall we?

Richard Ojeda: Who? Yeah, I know. He’s the guy that lost a House seat in West Virginia and decided (like Beto) that was ok…he just hadn’t set his sights high enough. So, if you can’t win a congressional seat, why not try for president? He was the first out.

Eric Swalwell: The California Representative realized that with a name like “Swalwell”, he wasn’t going to get far. Besides, he’d rather bash Trump from the House floor!

Mike Gravel: He’s 68 and a former Senator from Alaska. He ran for president in 2008, but was pretty much ignored by Democrats. So, he switched parties and ran as a Libertarian (an odd switch!). They even ignored him. He ran this time around because two teenagers convinced him he should.

John Hickenlooper: The former Governor of Colorado needed something to do, right? Why not run for president? Well, the people of America had a hard time pronouncing his last name, and his campaign fluttered and died like a John Denver song.

Jay Inslee: Another 68 year old pretty much ignored by the Democrats. Inslee is the Governor of the state of Washington. Of course, that didn’t help him because he never got to their primary.

Seth Moulton: The second youngest candidate in the field at 40 (Pete Buttigieg is 37), Moulton was a Representative from the state of Massachusetts. He gave these famous departing words, “I think this is a three way race between Biden, Warren, and Sanders”. Only Warren looks to be in the race at this point.

Kristen Gillibrand: Her claim to fame was taking over Hillary Clinton’s Senate seat. Her campaign didn’t last as long as her Senate career…only eight months.

Bill de Blasio: He’s the Mayor of New York. New Yorkers laughed at him when he announced his candidacy. When he quit the race, his comment was, “Clearly this wasn’t my time.” It was the first thing he said on the campaign that made sense.

Tim Ryan: A 45 year old House of Representatives member from the state of Ohio, Ryan never had a chance. People thought he was a former pitcher in the major leagues.

Beto O’Rourke: O’Rourke becomes the 9th candidate to drop. So out of the 27 that started the journey, we’re down to 18. And word on the street is Kamala Harris could very well be next. She’s 86’ing her staff left and right, and actually pulling people out of other states moving them to Iowa and New Hampshire to work.

And there you have it. By Christmas we should be down to less than a dozen.

Carry on world…you’re dismissed!

3 thoughts on “Bye, Bye, Beto!

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