Now, I really don’t understand why everyone isn’t following the same rules right now. They’re very clear. So, let’s take a minute and go over them again.
First, you must not leave the house, for any reason, unless of course, you HAVE a reason, and then you may leave the house. All stores are closed except those that are open. And all stores MUST close unless, of course, they need to stay open.
This virus is deadly, but don’t be afraid of it. it can only kill people who are vulnerable, and also those that are not vulnerable. We should stay locked down until the virus stops infecting people. It will only stop infecting people if enough of us get infected that we build immunity. It is very important that we get infected, and also that we do not get infected!
You should not go to the doctor’s office or the hospital unless you have to go there…unless of course you are too sick to go there. The virus has no effect on children, except on those children that it effects. The virus will remain active on surfaces for two hours, or four hours, or six hours, but in most cases a day and not hours, and it needs a damp environment, or a cold environment that is warm and dry in the air, unless the air is plastic.
Schools are closed, so you need to home-school your children unless you send them to school because you are not home. If you are at home, you can school your children using various portals and online classrooms unless you have poor internet, more than one child, only one computer, or you’re working from home. Baking cakes can be considered math, science, or art. Because you are home educating, you can include household chores in their education curriculum.
If you are home educating, you may start drinking at approximately 10am every day. If you are not home educating children, you may also start drinking at approximately 10am.
Masks are useless at protecting you against the virus, but you still need to wear one because it can save lives. And, in some cases it may even be mandatory, but also, maybe not.
You must not go to work, but you can get another job at which point you may go to work. Stay home! I don’t know how many more celebrities we need to have tell you how important it is to go outside and take care of your mental health.
There is no shortage of groceries in supermarkets, there are simply many things missing. You don’t need to go and buy a bunch of toilet paper, but you should buy some in case you need it. If you are sick you can go out once you are better. But those in your household, they cannot go out once you are better, unless of course, they need to go out.
Animals are not effected by the virus…except for that cat in Belgium who tested positive back in February…plus a couple of tigers. The number of Corona-related deaths will be announced daily, but we don’t know how many people are infected because we are only testing those who are almost dead to determine if that’s what they would die of. The people who die of Corona who are not counted won’t or will be counted, but maybe not.
You need to protect yourselves at these times. You should be eating well and exercising, but only exercising and eating what you have at home and avoid going to the stores unless you need toilet paper or fence paint.
It’s important to get fresh air. But don’t go to parks. But DO go walk other places, just don’t sit down, unless you’re old or pregnant. But if you do sit down, don’t sit for too long, unless you are old or pregnant, in which case you need to sit down. If you do sit down, don’t eat, unless you’ve had a long walk, which you are allowed to do if you are old or pregnant except for times in which you aren’t!
Don’t visit old people. But you have a moral obligation to take care of old people and bring them food and medicine.
And finally, no businesses will go down due to Coronavirus, except those businesses that go down due to Coronavirus.
I hope this cleared up any questions about what we should and should not be doing during this time. Please, educate your friends and family with this information, so we can remove any and all confusion surrounding this time.
Carry on world…you’re dismissed!